Deliciously Dysfunctional
by DragonStorm85
Summary: One-shot collection. There was just something about him that Cloud didn't like. But while that never stopped Axel from coming back to the bar, Tifa liked to think it was something much more than hatred and loathing that always brought them together.


**Title**: Just Another Night  
**Theme**: "350 words or more; make us laugh!" Note word count: 934  
**Character(s)**: Tifa Lockhart, Cloud Strife, Axel  
**Pairing(s)**: ...I won't even go there.  
**Warning(s)**: Possible OOC-ness  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but these words.  
**Note**: Intended to be my writing sample to an RP, had the comm...not sort of died before I got the confirmation of whether or not I could apply for Tifa. Inspired by some randomly RPed moments between the three. Let it be known that I also left a note stating that I suck at comedy.  
**Dedicated to**: sealedflight and cerisekousai from LJ. Epically dysfunctional threesome baby

-x-

Elbow resting lightly on the counter top, the gentle curve of her chin resting comfortably within the young woman's palm, she watched with mild interest as the two men engaged in a pointless battle of... Well, to be perfectly honest, Tifa was not exactly sure what they were doing. All she knew was that up until five minutes ago when this entire affair had began, her bar had been filled with happy and cheerful customers quietly enjoying their evening with stiff drinks and good company. However, said good company came to an abrupt end the moment he walked into the bar.

She had just been talking, like she would with any customer who happened to drop by her bar for a drink to ease the day's stress. Not many people were denied entrance as Tifa was the kind of person willing to give any and all a chance to stay and enjoy themselves just as long as they caused little to no trouble while there. However, there was just something about the man that irked Cloud so righteously that every little comment, every little movement that he made seemed an infraction against his character. Understandable she supposed. With Axel's connection to Organization XIII, -- past connection, she mentally corrected -- anyone would be a little uneasy around him. But Cloud Strife was not just anyone, especially where she was concerned. Any sign of too much attention being pointed in her direction and he was there to fend it off. It was flattering at best, Tifa would not deny that. But she lost more and more customers that way (though she supposed there were plenty of others passing in and out of Hallow Bastion that it would not effect her business too much).

So it was no surprise that when the red-head showed little more than friendly interest, the blonde 'hero' was right there in a moment's notice, prepared with blade and attitude to defend her honor with every fiber of his caring heart. And thus the scene before her had unfolded, scaring off everyone else who feared a confrontation after seeing Cloud battle in the Coliseum tournament.

The bell hanging over the front door rang, signaling the entrance of another customer. Her eyes just managed to catch a flash of brown locks under the light of the street lamp as the bell rang again, the hopeful patron catching sight of the two men glaring daggers at each other from their respective seats at the bar. Quickly realizing the peril he was in, he had turned on his heel and left without a second thought. A pity really. They might have provided her some form of entertainment or interest away from this staring contest. Admittedly, however, it was just beginning to get interesting as the barmaid started to actually enjoy this little game of interpreting the unspoken conversation through their expressions. True, it might not have been their exact words, but Tifa liked to believe she knew both men well enough to understand the general message either one was sending to the other.

'Leave. Now.' Cloud's eyes seemed to say.

Crimson brows furrowed just a fraction. 'Cool your jets, Spikey. I'm not done with my drink yet.'

A faint frown. 'Then finish it on the way home, and out of here.'

Here, Axel's brow quirked up challengingly. 'This is a bar, isn't it? I'm entitled to finishing it right here.'

Cloud's expression scrunched up with contained fury to a point where she could almost hear him growl in response. 'Listen here you Gypsy freak - '

His shifted in his seat suddenly. 'Hey, now! No need to get nasty, blondie. I - '

Here, Tifa decidedly chose to remind them of her presence, giving a soft cough and sending a pointed look in both of their directions.

Insert sigh here from young Mr. Strife. 'Just hurry up and finish, already.'

"Humph..." '_Fine_.' Was that an actual sound? Amazing! Guess you lose this round, Axel.

A small smile slowly crept across her lips as she watched Axel finish the last of his drink ever so slowly just to grate on the other's nerves, no doubt. And it seemed like it was working. All. Too. Well. So much so, that Tifa had to cover the beginnings of her snicker behind the safety of her hand as he placed the glass back down with a satisfied smirk. But the moment the glass hit the tabletop, he was out the door. Whether it was under his own care or by Cloud's 'insistence' was yet to be determined, but the young barmaid had an idea when she caught sight of the ex-Organization member stumble in his steps. Surely one drink would not be enough to have any effect on his mobility.

But before she could investigate the scene further, the door slammed shut, courtesy of Cloud. No matter. It was getting late anyways. And with Axel gone, she could finally close up the bar and head off to bed after a long day of work. So with cool and easy strides, a twist of her wrist to lock the deadbolt into place, she paused to give her long time friend an incredulous look.

He responded with an ever faithful expression of innocence. 'What?' it seemed to say.

Tifa all but laughed as she simply leaned in to place a light and gentle kiss on the young man's cheek.

"It's nice to know that you care." And with that, she headed on upstairs, chuckling at the image of a blushing Cloud Strife struggling to find the words to express his shock and embarrassment of what she had just done.

Tch, just another night at the _Seventh Heaven_.


End file.
